Finding Peace in Uncertainty

heatherreba

Oct 12

11 min read

Sermon: October 11, 2026 . Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of San Dieguito

We have a lot to be worried about these days. Our jobs, money, our children, our parents, the climate, war, our democracy, that weird ache that won’t go away, death, life… The list goes on and on, and yet, we aren’t even aware of all the things we could potentially worry about. How many more years do I have until my knees give out? Will anyone remember me when I pass away? What are the aliens even doing up there? Our lives are rich with uncertainty and the more we know about this world and this universe, the more we realize we don’t know. Every day there is even more to potentially worry about than we ever thought possible.

It’s natural for us to feel this way. We have been taught to try and exert control over ourselves and our environments, and we have successfully done so in many ways. We have learned more about science, we have created technology and medicines that can fix us, we’ve learned how to survive bacteria and most viruses, we don’t have any natural predators anymore, we’ve created structures for education that set us up to make enough money so that we don’t starve, we have global communication systems so we know what’s happening everywhere and at all times. We have created structures that allow us to shape our environment, and we now have tools that earlier humans couldn’t even have imagined. We are more in control of our lives than ever before. So, why are we so anxious?

Neuropsychologist Dr. Sam Goldstein says “We have become accustomed to the idea that with enough knowledge, resources, and effort, we can solve any problem, answer any question, and overcome any obstacle. This belief, while empowering, sets the stage for a profound sense of unease when we encounter questions that resist our efforts to control or comprehend them.”

In other words, we’ve convinced ourselves that we should be able to control everything about our environment, and when we can’t, we don’t know what to do. It turns out that our mental well-being is tied to our own sense of control. People who feel their lives are in control are happier and less stressed. Dr. Goldstein believes that this need for control during these uncertain times is what has led to the rise in conspiracy theories as people desperately cling to simplified answers, even if those answers are wildly false. Creating a narrative for what seem like chaotic events around us offers an emotional anchor for those adrift in a sea of mystery.

At the same time as our world provides more information for us to process and offers increasing knowledge that helps us better understand reality, we are still walking around in human bodies wired to influence the way we feel about the world we live in. When my son Jasper was a baby, my anxiety went through the roof. The postpartum hormonal shift flooded my system with emotions that I didn’t understand. I became petrified of staircases. I was certain that I would drop Jasper while walking down the stairs in our home. I could clearly imagine myself tripping and falling, the two of us tumbling down the staircase, certain it would end in his death. I could barely force myself to carry him down the stairs. If I kept both hands on him and didn’t hold the handrail, it was too treacherous. If I took one hand away from him to hold the handrail, then I didn’t trust just one hand on him and it became treacherous. For months, I held my breath every time I carried him down the stairs, one hand on the rail, and the other shaking as I held him close. As if to sabotage me, stairs started appearing everywhere I went, and I became fixated on them. One day, at the doctor’s office, I burst into tears and confessed my paranoia about stairs. We then had a conversation I’ll never forget.

She asked me what I was most afraid of, what was the worst possibility that could happen.

I said, “The worst thing would be if something happened to my baby.”

She then asked me what would be worse than that.

I said, “If it was because of me.”

She explained that my hormones were telling my postpartum brain to protect my baby at all costs. In years past, these hormones were necessary because there were actual risks and dangers to newborns. Perhaps my ancestors lived somewhere where there was a natural predator and mothers needed to be vigilant to make sure their babies weren’t eaten. She explained that as a species, we have improved the safety of our environments too quickly and that our bodies are still trying to catch up through evolution to meet our newly advanced way of life. My unevolved human brain was still firing warning signals, despite the lack of actual danger. And so, my brain filled in the gaps and offered reasons for me to be scared so that my hormonal imbalance, my anxieties and fears, made sense.

She said, “Your body is scared of bears, not stairs.”

Over time, as my postpartum hormones subsided, so did my stair paranoia. What hasn’t subsided is my understanding that sometimes our DNA wired human emotions are trying to help us when we simply don’t need that kind of help anymore. Sometimes we are afraid of bears and not stairs.

This doesn’t discount the many legitimate reasons we have to be worried. The world right now is unstable at best. However, it does help us understand our own reactions and encourages us to know when to pursue a legitimate concern and when to let our worries go.

When anxiety and stress rise due to our inability to control a situation, there is a shared wisdom that psychologists, therapists, and faith leaders espouse. Some of the most prominent recommendations include:

Stay mindful and practice meditation. Live in the present instead of the future. Don’t live in the unreality of what could happen. Live in the reality of what is happening now.

Embrace and actually accept uncertainty. Recognize that some things cannot be known or solved. Focus your energy not on trying to control the uncontrollable, but in adapting to change.

Foster connections. Find a network of people who support the idea that you’re not in this alone.

Become resilient. Adapt, change, trust that your future self, with their enhanced knowledge and wisdom, will be able to roll with the punches.

Value the journey of exploration and discovery over the need for definitive answers.

Executive coach Kenneth Berger had an excellent recommendation to let your actions honor your values, which essentially means, when faced with uncertainty, just do the next best thing. He explains that we can control our actions, even if we can’t control the consequences of those actions. If you act to honor your values, then you won’t regret what you’ve done, even if the outcome isn’t ideal. You’ll be able to rest in the knowledge that your decision was made mindfully and your actions honor your values. He calls this the hero’s mindset. Not all heroes achieve their goals, but “their heroism is measured by their intent and actions, not their consequences.” Peace can be found in measuring your actions the same.

Blogger Nandita offers the wisdom that uncertainty is a part of nature and that trying to control everything in our lives is participating in an illusion. She says, “When [you] accept that life is unpredictable, [you open yourself] up to new possibilities, opportunities, and a sense of peace, knowing that [you] don’t have to have everything figured out… In the space created by letting go, you’ll find peace — not because life is always easy, but because you’re no longer fighting against its natural uncertainty.”

These are all great practices, and I call them practices because we don’t necessarily achieve a peaceful mind all the time, despite our great efforts. That’s why we have to practice. In the meantime, until our practicing kicks in, what can we do? What can we keep in our back pocket to pull out in times of great anxiety?

My grandmother was the stalwart matriarch of my family. She had gone to a Presbyterian church for many years, but had given up religion in her later years and I didn’t consider her a religious person. In 2021, she passed away at the age of 96. Because it was during Covid, only my aunt and I were allowed to travel into her retirement community in Bakersfield to clear out her apartment. We found all the expected things: her piles of Penny Press word puzzle books, her wardrobe of classy clothes, organized neatly by color, the pictures of her husband and grandchildren adorning her dining room table so she could see them while she ate her meals. We also found one unexpected item that I saved and framed.

It was a piece of paper, folded many times into a neat square and nestled into the back pocket of her wallet. The paper was quite old and the edges where it had been folded were worn fuzzy and thin over time. It had obviously been taken out of the wallet, then refolded and placed back inside many times. In my grandmother’s perfect handwriting was a scripture from the Bible that read:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything through prayer and thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind.” –Philippians 4:6-7

My non-religious grandmother literally kept this handwritten note in her pocketbook in case of emergency. At times, even the most shrewd, logic driven, and scientifically minded of us have leaned into the divine as a respite from anxiety. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Let go and let God.” The idea that the Divine can alleviate you of your worries graces the pages of many sacred texts that offer assurance that there is no need to be afraid. In fact, the Hebrew Bible, which many call the Old Testament, assures us of this notion over 70 times:

“Fear not, for I am with you.” –Isaiah 41:10

“Do not fear or be dismayed.” –Deuteronomy 31:8

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” –Proverbs 12:25

Then in the New Testament, there are over 30 more assurances:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you... Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” –John 14:27

“Cast all your anxieties on God, because he cares for you.” –1 Peter 5:6-7

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for today is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

It’s not just the Bible that offers reassurance. The Qur’an offers the same 12 times:

Surah 70 Verse 9 tells us that “Indeed, mankind was created anxious,” but then

Surah 94 verse 6 says “Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.”

Surah 13 verse 28 tells us that “Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”

And the Bhagavad Gita tells us not to fear 24 times. In one of the final verses, Lord Krishna states: "I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear."

Another verse from the Bhagavad Gita (2.70) offers thoughts on staying calm in the face of uncertainty. It states: "A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires - that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still - can alone achieve peace."

This passage is explained well on the website Bhagavad Gita for All, which states:

“Tumultuous rivers cascade and constantly pour into the ocean, yet the ocean remains unchanged. It doesn't overflow. It doesn't get agitated. Your mind can be like this ocean. Thoughts, worries, and desires flow in constantly. But you don't have to be disturbed by every mental wave. The ocean accepts all rivers without losing its essential stillness. This isn't about stopping thoughts - that's like trying to stop rivers. It's about developing ocean-like depth and stability.”

It seems that even during ancient times, people suffered from anxiety and our ancient religious authors had similar messages for us: Do your best, and when faced with uncertainty, shift the responsibility of your fear to the Divine, for it is always a present companion.

What words bring you comfort and peace during times of great uncertainty? Perhaps it’s not words from a sacred text, but words from your own heart.

In 1873, Horatio Spafford was a wealthy Chicago lawyer and a Presbyterian. His wife, Anna, and four daughters set sail for Britain on a vacation that Horatio was meant to later join. The ship they traveled on sank in the Atlantic and all four of their daughters drowned. When his wife, Anna, reached Wales, she sent a telegram to Horatio that simply read, “Saved alone. What shall I do?” Right away, Spafford set sail to meet his wife in Britain and when his ship reached the location where his daughters had drowned, the captain called Spafford to the deck. There, in the middle of the ocean, in the face of great uncertainty as to what his new future would look like without his children, Spafford wrote the following poem that later became a beloved hymn:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say:

It is well, it is well with my soul.

May we all find the words that bring us peace during times of uncertainty.

And may they accompany and fortify us through troubled times, whether written on our hearts or on an old, folded piece of paper, nestled safely in our pocketbooks.

M E G I L L M U S I C

Finding Peace in Uncertainty

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